Let Go of Feeling Like a Victim

Identifying when we don't feel good about how we are being treated is healthy; it is also wonderful to be able to protect and take care of ourselves (after all, who else can care for us as well as we can care for ourselves)--but getting stuck feeling like a victim can keep us in a powerless, hopeless place and keep us from taking control and moving forward with our lives as parents, and as individuals. In order to get on with building our families, single parents need to let go of feeling like a victim.
Yes, you very well may have been victimized and I do not want to make light of that

experience. Many of us have had all sorts of horrible experiences that we neither deserved, nor invited. But it can be so easy to get trapped into looking around and wondering why we have got it so badly, and why we are a single parent, and it can keep us from taking charge and moving on. Not to mention, feeling like a victim and identifying with victim-hood can cause us to make choices or decisions that perpetuate that identity. Until we let go of that identification, we might keep repeating the cycle.

Owning our own power by empowering ourselves and taking control--without trying to be controlling--will make us more resilient parents. It will also help us to start experiencing joy and pleasure again. Sure, things will always happen that are out of control, but we don't have to be or feel the victim of circumstances or other people's choices and actions. Attitude and letting go of feeling like a victim who has had bad things happen to them can make all the difference in our being able to feel good and successful as a single parent (and we can help break the cycle of victimization with our child or children).